


The Pain Now

by Iorhael



Category: Supernatural RPS
Genre: M/M, crossover with Shadowlands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-02
Updated: 2010-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-07 15:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/66629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iorhael/pseuds/Iorhael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lewis is Jensen's tutor that term in Oxford.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pain Now

The elderly man looked solemnly out of the window. He was breathing softly and his eyes were glimmering with something akin to sadness. Or was it real sorrow? Jensen looked down to the hardwood floor, noticing for the first time that his hands were shaking a little. He was not without sorrow himself, but right now, tension was more because of the man standing before him. Jensen was more than awed by the famed author, and he kept counting the blessings he got this semester.

"Ackles, you say?"

"Yes, sir."

"Sit down."

"Thank you, sir."

"We read to know—"

"we're not alone." Jensen smiled softly. He knew some Professor Lewis's quotes by heart.

"Oh." Lewis bent his head. "How embarrassing."

"Not at all, sir. I admire you."

"Really." He turned to face Jensen. "Well, do you think that is so?"

"To be honest, I hadn't thought of it before like that, sir."

"Nor did I. I suppose some people would say we _love_ to know we're not alone. Would you?"

"I—" And something came between Jensen's words and his mouth. He choked. "Love it is but we can still be alone."

There seemed to be something in his voice that made Lewis watch him more closely, head tilting.

"I mean, sir, once you said why love…"

"If losing hurts so much." Lewis nodded slowly and shifted from his place at the window to sit behind his desk. "Young man," he called.

Jensen shifted uneasily.

"There should be no reasons for you to be hurting so much."

_But there is._

"I have no answers anymore but you should."

Jensen sprang up. His fists closed on his sides. "With all due respect, sir. You have no right to judge me so. To demand me so. Life is life and life goes on. And if love chooses to abandon me, I can do nothing to stop it. Nor can I to evade the pain."

Lewis rested his hand on Jensen's shoulder and the weight calmed him down somehow.

"Come on."

And Jensen sat back.

"I'm sorry."

Jensen shook his head. "Please don't. None of it was your fault."

"I have no answers anymore, only the life I have lived. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal."

Jensen's breath stuttered. He wondered if he had ever had that _happiness then_. A tear rolled quietly down.

"Yes, sir."

 

~~~


End file.
